What about me?
by ForgottenPortraitOfSolitude
Summary: Romano has finally cracked from Veneziano taking away everything he had ever loved or wanted. What does he do about it? Why is Northern Italy okay with his decision? Terrible name and summary. Warning : Suicide attempt, Spamano, Itacest and a Dark!Italy.
1. Chapter 1

_It's always about Veneziano... isn't it? It's always been all about him- and yet he doesn't even notice. He has always had everyone wanting him and wishing that he could have been theirs... He's talented in the arts and a very 'good boy' as Spain puts it... _

_**But what about me?**_

_Am I not a good boy? Does everyone only want him because he's better at everything than I? Why won't anyone compliment me? I'm trying hard! I'm trying harder than anyone else! So... Why... Why won't Spain ever pat my head and tell me I do a good job...? _

Romano silently sat inside of his seat on the couch- in which no one else was seated at. The others were trying to crowd around his little brother and touch him all over. Either it be patting his head, poking his cheek, or simply trying to cling to him. The whole time he would sit there and act as if nothing was even happening.

"Hey! You stupid bastards-"

"Ve~ I want pasta."

"Then I'll go get you some pasta!"

"Pasta for Cute Ita-chan~"

"I'll go make it!~"

"Ve~ Thank you!~"

Again. It's always the same. No one ever wanted him- nor even noticed that he was in the room. Even _his_ Spain was acting goofy-er if possible, for his little brother.

After they gave him the pasta, Veneziano started to eat it hungrily as if he hadn't eaten in days.

"Such a glutton." Romano hissed before standing up and leaving the room- Before he could get too far...

"I wish I had you as a child! You're so cute and helpful- oh! And listen to everything I have to say. You're the best, Ita-chan~ Boss Spain would have loved to have you instead of your brother." Spain praised the other while rubbing his head softly.

"Ve!~"

Romano's eyes darkened and he walked away quickly into a different room. This room was the bathroom. He stared at the mirror in front of him and then to his hands, after locking the door shut.

"He doesn't even want me... Why... Why can't I do a damn thing right!?"

Both fists made contact with the mirror and it shattered from the harsh contact.

"Now I even made a mess and he probably won't care! It's always about Italy! Always about Veneziano! What about me? Am I not Italy too?..."

Brown eyes shifted their gaze onto the floor. He bent down and picked up a rather large shard of the mirror and held it tightly inside of his hand. He flinched from the mirror slicing through his skin which sent a wave of pain up his body.

_There only needs to be one Italy... Only one... An Italy who everyone likes and loves- along with being good at everything. A single Italy who can do everything by himself with a little help... An Italy with loved ones... _

_**An Italy who isn't** **me.**_

_ Veneziano has never once even looked up to me as a big brother... Spain never patted me on the head and praised me... No one ever wants me... So why was I even made...? _

His grip tightened and he could feel hot tears rolling down his cheeks. Since when did he start crying? He didn't know. After a few more seconds, he moved to the bathtub and turned on the facet with cold water. Romano stepped into the tub. He used the shard to cut both of his wrists and laid down in it with the shard of mirror now deeply tucked into his hand. The pain was surprisingly dull and meaningless to him. Both eyes closed and he awaited for his time to come. Even though he was a nation, he didn't care. He would continue forever if he had to.

After a few hours, the tub would over flow and make it's way to the living room. Some of the other nations noticed and flinched before trying to figure out where it came from.

"Ve... it's so cold- and pink? Pink water is nice~"

"Pink... Maybe it's blood?"

"Where's Romano?"

"Ro...mano..."

Spain jumped up from his seat and looked through the house. Each door was slammed open and looked through.

"Romannnooo! Where are you? Did you break something again?"

_Did I break something!? You broke me!_

"Are you in the bathroom? "

_No fucking way! Did it take you that long to notice? It's been... at least five hours!_

Spain finally made his way to the bathroom and kicked the door down. He soon laid eyes upon something he didn't want to see. There was his little Romano, at the bottom of the bathtub and both his wrists were bleeding. So, he was drowning and bleeding to death very slowly.

"R-Romano..."

Romano didn't reply and it seemed to be that he was long gone. Spain lifted the poor nation out of the water and held onto him tightly in a strong embrace. His heart was still beating, which was good- but.. for how much longer? He soon whipped out his cell phone and called for medical attention right away.

Meanwhile, Italy was leaning against a wall and chuckling to himself lightly. All of the other nations were helping his brother or simply crowding around him. A small smirk played onto his lips and he couldn't help but stifle a laugh.

"My poor big brother~ Such a shame he would feel so badly about himself." Veneziano whispered to himself.

After that, he would flail to the scene and pretend to cry like he usually would. "Romano! You can't die! Don't leave your little brother behind!"

_Of course, I'd be more than fine without someone as useless as you around... **Big Brother**._

* * *

__What have I done- Ahh ; u ; . Anyway- New ch. will come... when I feel like it. Depends on how popular it is. /shrugs. I have other things to update too.

REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY.


	2. Chapter 2

Romano's brow eyes slowly opened and he saw that he was in a white room... Very white. There weren't any other colors in it. The bed was white, walls, floors, machines, windows- everything. It was strange. He blinked a few times and closed his eyes again. Anger rushed through his body.

"Damn it! I can't even die properly... I can't do anything right..."

He tried to sit up and blinked once he heard the door open suddenly. South Italy raised a brow and stared at the person who suddenly came in. His heart sank once he saw it wasn't Spain but someone else...

North Italy was wearing a strangely serious face with very cold, hateful eyes. A small smirk was on his face despite what other emotions he had. He approached the white bed and sat down onto it, a single hand reached out to grab onto his brother's wrist.

"Veneziano... What do you think you're doing? Damn it- that hurts! Let go." Romano spat angrily.

The younger brother squeezed his wrist tighter and glanced up at him. The way he was acting was starting to frighten him. This wasn't the North Italy he had known or grown up with- No, this was so different...

"Do you have any idea... How worried I was about you? How do you think I'd carry on without my big brother? Are you stupid? ... I'd really hate to say this, but... The other nations were mainly complaining about how useless you were to them and every bad thing you did. That's why they're not in the room right now, see? You're all alone, Romano." Veneziano whispered to him.

"...What? But- They wouldn't ever say-... Damn it... Fuck everything." Romano whispered the last part and could feel hot tears about to leave his eyes and roll down his face.

"But you know Romano..." Italy moved closer to wrap both arms around him to hug him tightly. "I'll always be here for you- always. I love my big brother- I also know a way to make others like you too. Ve~ Sounds nice, right?"

"...Really...?"

"Yes, yes~ All you have to do... Is abandon your personality you have right now... and be like me! Ve!~ Everyone loves me, right? Then everyone can love you too! Just be like me."

Romano thought for the reasoning for a minute and let out a small distressed sigh. He hesitantly hugged his brother back and pressed his head into his chest. His entire body was shaking and he didn't like the idea at all.. but-

"Does that mean... That bastard Spain will like me too?" His voice was soft and somewhat hurt.

"Of course he will. Spain always says that he loves me... Now he can love you too." Italy whispered back with an amused tone.

"Ve~ I'll be like my little brother then!" Romano replied with the usual Italy's voice and expression.

Both of them gave each other their smiles and usual faces along with holding hands. They laughed together, hugged then the younger brother left.

_Too easy. Who knew that my big brother would be that easy to fool? I just wanted to see what would happen is all~ Is that so bad of me? _

Italy chuckled darkly before running down the hallway while flailing his arms like usual. He moved to the spot where the other nations were since all of them were forced away from the room for the stitches to be put in.

"Ve! Ve! Romano just woke up! The doctor said I could see him- so I did!" North yelled.

The other nations, France, Prussia, Germany, Spain, Japan and a few others came rushing to the room with Italy trailing behind. They all had been worried sick- But it wasn't like Italy would actually tell him that. There was no need to make him feel like... he was needed. In all, there only needed to be one Italy. _One alone. _

The white door suddenly burst open like before, and the other nations piled in. Luckily, it was a big room. Spain was the one to speak first.

"Romano! Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere? ... Why would you do such a thing?" He asked with pure concern dripping from his lips.

Romano looked up at him and had a huge smile on his face- the same as his brother's. Both eyes were full of happiness and a few tears in the ends.

"...Romano?"

"Ve!~ What is it, Boss-Spain?"

"Romano..."

France in the back could clearly see what happened and his gaze went straight for the red haired male who was clinging to Germany. Something... wasn't right. He felt like the brothers had something to do with it. When Italy went to go check on him... What exactly did they talk about? Maybe it was nothing- Ah, perhaps Romano hit his head? That must have been it.

"Ita-chan, does Roma have amnesia?" Francis asked with a raised brow.

"Nope!~ This is just my _big brother _like normal. Right?" He said with a bright grin. "I'm so glad he's okay."

"...Yeah."

Next to the white bed was a small table. On it were a huge vase full of flowers that Spain had brought for him. But, nothing seemed to be right. All of the other nations sensed it too. One by one, they all left until it was only North Italy, Germany, Spain and France. Germany wanted to leave, yet he wouldn't say anything since he knew he had to stay with Italy.

"Romano...? What do you think of me?" Spain said finally after a long silence.

"Ve~ Ve!~ I love Boss-Spain! Obviously!" He replied with an idiotic grin on his face.

On the inside, his pride was slowly hurting more and more. His cheeks flushed a small shade of pink.

"...pfft." North began to laugh a little but then covered it up with a smile.

"He's always saying to me about how much he loved you! Remember how when we were little?~ Veee? Big Brother Spain always wanted _Me_ and not him!"

"That's right... Because Ita-chan was so innocent and obedient.."

"Don't you still want me now?~"

Silence filled the room. Since all eyes were on Italy, Romano had finally cracked. His once smile was quivering a little and his eyebrows knitted together. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes yet he refused to let them fall.

On the inside, Veneziano was laughing and smiling to himself. The look on his big brothers face was so funny! It looked like he had really struck a nerve.

France flinched once he suddenly looked down at Romano. He was going to cry? But why? What just happened?

"R-romano. Do you want something?" Antonio asked with a frown from the sight of him.

"I want... I want y- Pasta. Please go get me some pasta?" He said with a large grin.

_Please? _The Romano he knew would probably have called him a bastard or something... Yet, why didn't he? This didn't make any sense.

"Let's go get Romano something to eat. It'd be bad if he were to be hungry at a time like this." Germany finally piped in.

Three of them left the room since the atmosphere was kind of awkward. France managed to stay behind and hide behind the door in order to listen to whatever conversation may occur.

"Looks like you're doing a good job so far~ _Dearest Big Brother." _Italy cooed.

"It's so damn hard to be like you! How do you even do it?!" Romano spat back.

"It's easy because I'm me! Hn...? Haven't you noticed how the others actually _like_ you now?"

"Yeah... It's nice for once..."

The French man stood there in complete and utter shock. That voice didn't even sound like it was Italy's! But... somehow it was? What were they talking about? So, Romano was being like him on _purpose?_ How could that be? Maybe he should go tell the others... And with that, he ran down the hall.

The redhead's ears were alert and he mumbled something under his breath. Someone was running through the hallways... Someone heard them. He'd have to fix that.

"If you hear _anyone_ try and speak of what you're doing, then deny it. Understand?"

"...Ve!~ I do, I do!"

* * *

Ohno. France knows the secret. All hell 'bout to break loose. Review to put out the fire. :,D


End file.
